4 Signs of Stored Trauma of the Fearful Avoidant

Understanding the Anxious Avoidant Attachment Style and Recognizing Signs of Trauma

In our journey of self-discovery and healing, it is crucial to recognize how past traumas shape our current selves. This is especially true for people with an anxious avoidant attachment style, which is often characterized by a mix of longing for closeness and an intense fear of it. Today we’re going to explore some common signs of trauma that you may consider inherent parts of your personality, and how acknowledging and addressing them can lead to profound healing.

#### Q: What are the signs of trauma that can be confused with personality traits?

A: Exhaustion and feeling tired all the time A common misunderstanding is to equate constant fatigue with being a “naturally low-energy” person. For people with an anxious-avoidant attachment style who have experienced significant trauma, fatigue is a common symptom. Trauma can drain so much of your energy, making everyday tasks feel overwhelming. This exhaustion is not a reflection of weakness or laziness; it is your body trying to cope with unresolved emotional stress.

A: Constant restlessness and the need to stay busy Do you find yourself unable to sit still, always feeling the need to be busy? This may be more than just an active lifestyle; it can be a way to face or avoid deep emotional pain. Many people with trauma keep themselves busy as an escape from dealing with painful memories and feelings that surface in quiet, peaceful moments.

A: Trouble regulating your body temperature An uncommon but telling sign of trauma is a struggle to regulate your body temperature. You may often feel cold, or uncomfortable in moderate temperatures. This symptom is often overlooked and attributed to physical health problems or simply being “sensitive” to the cold, but as you progress in your healing process, you may notice improvements in how your body manages its temperature.

A: Experiencing brain fog Finally, brain fog — a condition in which it is difficult to think clearly or concentrate — can also be a sign of trauma. For someone with anxious avoidant tendencies, maintaining a foggy mindset can subconsciously serve as a protective mechanism against making decisions that could lead to failure or disappointment.

#### Q: How can recognizing these signs help someone with an anxious avoidant attachment style?

Recognizing these signs is a vital step toward healing. It shifts your perception from self-blame or accepting these traits as “just who I am,” to understanding that they are reactions to past trauma. This realization can be liberating—it’s the first step in addressing the underlying causes by seeking appropriate therapeutic modalities, such as therapy or emotional freedom techniques (EFT), which have been shown to be helpful in healing trauma.

#### Q: What should someone do after recognizing these signs in themselves?

First, approach your findings with kindness and compassion. Understand that these reactions are not your fault, but the result of experiences that were likely beyond your control. Next, consider seeking support from mental health professionals who specialize in trauma and attachment issues. Techniques like EFT, when guided by a professional, can be particularly effective in gradually and safely releasing trauma from the body, thereby alleviating these symptoms.

Acknowledging and addressing these signs of trauma can be challenging, but it is also a journey toward liberation and a more fulfilling life. As you heal, you will likely notice an increase in energy, improvement in physical symptoms, and a clearer mindset, allowing for deeper connections with others and a more joyful engagement with life.

Always remember that healing is a process, and it’s okay to ask for help along the way. Let understanding these signs of trauma be the first step on a journey of recovery and self-discovery.

Why is it sometimes scary to have a clear mind, especially for people sen with an anxious avoidant attachment style?

For someone with an anxious avoidant attachment style, the thought of thinking clearly can actually be quite intimidating. When your mind is clear and you are thinking in a straight line, any mistakes you make are seen as entirely your fault. This fear of making mistakes is so profound for the anxious avoidant that it can lead to a preference for the safety of brain fog. Interestingly, brain fog serves as a protective mechanism, shielding them from the potential pain of responsibility and self-blame.

How Does Healing Trauma Affect Your Mental Clarity?

Healing trauma can significantly improve your ability to think clearly. As you begin to deal with your traumas and heal your attachment style, you may notice an increase in how clearly you can think. This increased clarity leads to a greater acceptance of personal power and responsibility, opening up a world where more possibilities and solutions become visible. This change is especially valuable for someone with an anxious avoidant attachment style, where previously brain fog could make making decisions and seeing alternatives very challenging.

What are some signs of trauma in someone with an anxious avoidant attachment style?

Trauma in people with an anxious avoidant attachment style can manifest itself in a number of ways. Some of the most common signs include constant exhaustion, an inability to relax, difficulty regulating body temperature, and the aforementioned brain fog. These symptoms are often mistaken for personality traits or physical health problems, but are actually indicators of underlying trauma.

Can talking about experiences with trauma and attachment styles help?

Absolutely! Sharing experiences can be incredibly helpful. If you recognize any of the signs of trauma, or have observed others, sharing them can be helpful not only for you, but for others who may be experiencing similar issues. Discussion fosters a sense of community and support, and reminds everyone involved that they are not alone, broken, or weird.

What should you do when you are ready to begin healing from an anxious avoidant attachment style?

If you feel ready to address the trauma that contributes to an anxious avoidant attachment style, consider participating in therapeutic programs designed to heal attachment issues. I am excited to announce that I will be developing a program specifically focused on healing anxious avoidant attachment styles, launching in the first quarter of next year. Being a part of this from the beginning can be incredibly beneficial, and there are opportunities to join for an introductory price, increasing the accessibility and impact of the healing journey.

So, if you recognize any of these signs or are curious about joining the healing program, let me know in the comments below or sign up for the waitlist. By acknowledging and learning more about these experiences, we begin to pave the way to a healthier, more empowered life.