The Pathway System: Personalized Healing for Fearful Avoidants
Most online programs are linear. You start at the beginning, you follow the modules in order, and you finish at the end. But if you have a fearful avoidant attachment style, healing is rarely that simple. Your pain points shift. Your triggers change. You might feel calm one week and overwhelmed the next. Healing is not linear for you, so your program should not be either.
Fearful Avoidants generally struggle with the same things, but usually not with the same things at the same time.
That is why Healed & Happy, the online program created by Paulien Timmer specifically for Fearful Avoidants, does not follow a one-size-fits-all structure. Instead, it uses a dynamic system of pathways: personalized healing journeys that match exactly what you are going through at each stage.
This is the Pathway System, and it changes everything.
How it works
Everyone starts with the same foundational course. It includes seven core modules that address the deepest roots of the fearful avoidant attachment style, from identity and safety to connection and joy. This creates a solid foundation for healing and introduces the tools that will support you throughout your journey.
After completing the foundational course, you are invited to fill in a survey. It asks about your thoughts, emotions, patterns, symptoms, and progress. It is very in-depth. It tracks things like your fear of being found out and rejected, your ability to trust yourself, your sense of safety in the world, how much you ruminate, how much you look forward to the future, and more. This is not just to reflect, it is to guide.
Based on your answers, a new pathway is assigned.
That pathway is custom-made to help you work through whatever is most active in your system right now. For example, if your anxiety has dropped but you still fear hurting others, you will receive a pathway on that specific theme. If you are struggling with perfectionism, or if anger is coming up, or if you are navigating a breakup, we have pathways for those things too. And if we don’t, we create them.
The system is alive. It evolves with you.
Most participants complete three to four pathways after the foundational one. Each one is short, focused, and designed to meet you where you are.
Why this matters so much
If you have a fearful avoidant attachment style, one of your biggest struggles is momentum. When something feels mismatched, unsafe, or irrelevant, your fear brain will shut it down. Traditional programs lose people when they hit a module that does not apply right now. You think, “I get why this is here, but I am not dealing with this,” and then you stop. And maybe you never come back.
That is not a motivation problem. That is a design problem.
The Pathway System fixes that.
You only receive what you actually need, in the moment you need it. This makes it easier to stay engaged, easier to feel progress, and easier to keep healing without burning out. It is also emotionally safer, because you never have to push through content that does not fit your current emotional state.
It also makes it less overwhelming. You get taken by the hand, instead of seeing 20 modules that you feel you HAVE to finish in order to do it perfectly.
This is why Healed & Happy has such a high completion rate. The average for online programs is low: often under 10 percent. But in Healed & Happy, around 70 percent of participants finish the first full pathway. And many come back later to do more. Some weave in and out over the course of a year or two, returning when something triggers them or when a new relationship challenge shows up. They know they will be met with something that fits.
A healing journey that mirrors you
The vision behind Healed & Happy has always been to make healing feel more like a story game than a syllabus. You are not just moving through content. You are choosing your path, shifting direction when needed, unlocking new insights as you go. It is not gamified for the sake of novelty. It is responsive, because healing for fearful avoidants has to be.
The Pathway System honors that.
You are not broken. You are not inconsistent. You are adapting to what your system is ready for. And Healed & Happy is built to adapt with you.
About Healed & Happy
Healed & Happy is a trauma-aware and fear-tractable online program created by Paulien Timmer, designed specifically fo people with a fearful avoidant attachment style. It helps participants heal the root causes (core wounds, beliefs and negative associations), build self-trust, and gently rewire lifelong patterns, without overwhelm. Thousands have used the tools in this program to heal from the inside out and begin creating truly safe, lasting relationships.
🕰️ This page was written by Paulien Timmer, published on August 6, 2025.