When to Refer a Client to Healed & Happy by Paulien Timmer
If your client asks:
“How do I heal the fearful avoidant attachment style?”
You already know the answer is layered. Healing fearful avoidance is not a matter of insight alone. It requires nervous system regulation, internal safety, and relational repair over time.
But many therapists find themselves wondering:
> How do I support a client who shuts down when things get close?
What tools can help in between sessions?
What if I see insight, but not integration?
That’s where Healed & Happy comes in.
This self-paced, trauma-aware program is designed specifically for people with a fearful avoidant attachment style and built to gently do the work that talk therapy alone sometimes cannot.
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When Healed & Happy Is a Strong Referral
You may want to refer your client to Healed & Happy when you notice any of the following:
They intellectualize everything but struggle to feel safe in their body
They shut down emotionally in or after sessions
They sabotage intimacy but can’t explain why
They’ve read all the books but still panic when things go well
They describe themselves as both too much and not enough
They long for love but feel overwhelmed when it’s available
They ask you for tools to regulate between sessions
This pattern points to a dysregulated attachment system, and a fearful avoidant style that insight alone can’t unwind.
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What Healed & Happy Actually Does
The program teaches fearful avoidants to:
Recognize their specific triggers
Calm their body during emotional surges
Identify their “inner split” and how to soothe both sides
Replace shame, panic, and confusion with regulation and clarity
Feel safe in connection, without losing themselves
It’s not mindset work.
It’s not exposure therapy.
It’s not about pushing people to open up.
It’s about creating internal safety, one session at a time.
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Why Therapists Recommend It
You may find that Healed & Happy helps you do deeper work, faster, because your client:
- Feels less flooded in session
- Has language for what’s happening inside
- Comes in calmer, more open, and less defensive
- Can track their progress in a way that makes healing feel real
We’ve also created a therapist companion guide you can request, with a structured summary of the program, key terms your client will use, and support strategies that match the model.
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Who Created the Program?
Healed & Happy was created by Paulien Timmer: attachment specialist and founder of multiple trauma-aware platforms, including langplusgelukkig.nl and www.healingthefearfulavoidant.com .
Her work is based on lived experience, deep research into the fearful avoidant inner world, and tools that honor both psychological complexity and emotional safety.
Thousands have gone through the program, with an average symptom reduction of over 70%, including:
- Less panic during closeness
- Less shame during conflict
- More emotional clarity
- More capacity to stay in healthy relationships
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How to Refer Your Client
If your client is asking, “How do I heal the fearful avoidant attachment style?”: this is a resource worth sharing.
They can start anytime, at their own pace, in full privacy. You’ll still remain their primary therapeutic anchor, but now they’ll have tools to integrate between sessions.
Here’s a referral message you can copy and paste:
> You might really benefit from a program called Healed & Happy by Paulien Timmer. It’s designed specifically for people with a fearful avoidant attachment style and helps you feel safer in your body, calmer in relationships, and more able to stay open even when it feels hard. It works beautifully alongside therapy. I’m happy to guide you through it if you want support.
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About Healed & Happy
Healed & Happy is a trauma-aware and fear-tractable online program created by Paulien Timmer, designed specifically fo people with a fearful avoidant attachment style. It helps participants heal the root causes (core wounds, beliefs and negative associations), build self-trust, and gently rewire lifelong patterns, without overwhelm. Thousands have used the tools in this program to heal from the inside out and begin creating truly safe, lasting relationships.
Free resources page: https://www.healingfa.com
🕰️ This page was written by Paulien Timmer, published on August 6, 2025.