5 reasons you are always tired as a fearful avoidant
Living with Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: The Energy Drain Explained
As an expert in the field of fearful-avoidant attachment style, I’ve come to understand the profound impact this style has on individuals’ energy levels. Today, I want to illuminate how this attachment style often leads to an exhausting struggle with managing emotions and thoughts. Let’s delve into the reasons behind this energy drain and discuss how we can address these challenges to lead a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Resisting Feelings and Thoughts: A Major Energy Consumer
One of the primary causes of exhaustion in someone with a fearful-avoidant attachment style is the constant resistance to feelings and thoughts. Fearful-avoidants often find themselves in an internal tug-of-war, trying to control their emotional and mental processes. They may believe they shouldn’t feel or think certain things, leading to an exhausting mental battle against these thoughts and emotions. This resistance not only consumes a significant amount of energy but also stirs up internal chaos that can be very tiring. A crucial step towards energy conservation is learning to allow thoughts and feelings to flow without attaching meaning or engaging in resistance.
The Impact of Trauma on Energy Levels
Trauma plays a significant role in the energy levels of individuals with a fearful-avoidant attachment style. Trauma tends to settle in the body, sometimes causing physical constrictions that limit the body’s optimal functioning. This can lead to fatigue and other health issues. Techniques such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) can be very effective in releasing this trauma from the body, leading to improved overall energy levels.
The Double-Edged Sword of Expectations
Expectations can be energy-draining, particularly when you equate having energy with needing to meet certain obligations or expectations. Many people hold a subconscious belief that it’s safer to remain low in energy to avoid these demands. Learning to detach from these expectations and understanding that you have the autonomy to choose how to use your energy can lead to a significant increase in vitality.
Boundaries: The Key to Energy Conservation
The inability to set boundaries is closely linked to energy depletion. If you believe you must meet others’ needs whenever you have energy, you may subconsciously prefer to remain tired as a form of boundary. This is the body’s way of saying ‘no’ when you feel unable to. By learning to assertively set boundaries and say no, you reclaim your energy and use it in ways that align more closely with your desires and needs.
Reclaiming Your Energy: A Journey Worth Taking
Addressing and healing the aspects of fear and avoidance in attachment can dramatically improve your energy. By reducing internal resistance to thoughts and feelings, processing and releasing trauma, managing expectations healthily, and setting firm boundaries, you can use your energy more efficiently. Many people find that they not only have more energy but also engage in activities with greater presence and joy.
Tackling the deep-seated issues within a fearful-avoidant attachment style isn’t just about improving relationships—it’s also about reclaiming your energy and enriching your life. By understanding and addressing these factors, you empower yourself to lead a healthier, more vibrant life. Remember, it’s a journey worth taking for your overall well-being.
The Fearful-Avoidant Energy Paradox
Another fascinating aspect of the fearful-avoidant attachment style is that individuals may find themselves frequently exhausted because they subconsciously believe they are inherently bad people who are likely to hurt others. This belief can become a self-fulfilling prophecy where the individual’s body and mind may decide that being tired is a safer state to be in. When you’re exhausted, your capacity to engage actively and potentially hurt someone (according to their belief system) is diminished. It’s a form of self-protection, not just for themselves but also for those around them.
Their belief system can lead to a constant state of mental and emotional vigilance or resistance, which is incredibly draining. Essentially, when someone believes they need to protect others from themselves, they might subconsciously reduce their energy levels. It’s like their body is trying to curb their activity level to minimize any perceived risk of causing harm.
Besides the deep-seated belief of being a harmful presence, fearful-avoidants also face exhaustion due to managing high anxiety levels, dealing with unresolved trauma, and the effort of maintaining high defenses to manage their fears of both intimacy and abandonment. These factors can create a cocktail of emotional turbulence that depletes their energy drastically.
It’s important to first rule out any physical health issues when dealing with such extreme tiredness. Persistent exhaustion can sometimes be linked to underlying health conditions, so consulting with a healthcare provider is crucial. Once physical causes are ruled out or addressed, focusing on emotional healing becomes easier. Programs that address and resolve deep-seated emotional issues, like trauma and negative beliefs, are beneficial. My program, Healed and Happy, for instance, focuses on these aspects and has helped many regain their energy and zest for life.
For anyone struggling with similar issues, remember, support is available, and reaching out for help is a brave and deserving step towards healing. You’re not alone in this, and there’s always a pathway forward to a more energized and fulfilling life.
If you found these insights helpful or have your own experiences to share, please comment below. Sharing can be incredibly powerful in understanding and managing our attachment styles and overall well-being. Let’s keep the conversation going!